The Uranium Tipped Pen

First they came for the smokers,

And I did not speak out

Because I don’t smoke

Then they came for the fatties

And I did not speak out,

Because I’m Size 6 darling

Then they came for the winos

And I did not speak out,

Because I was embarrassed about my all the vodka bottles in our recycling box…

Then they came for the druggies

And I did not speak out,

Because I only smoked it that one time at uni and didn’t inhale…

Then they came for me…

And I said “fuck it”

Because there was nobody interesting left to speak out to anyway

———–

I do at times feel genuine regret for my zealous support of the UK smoking ban. Oh yes we all knew it was a bit authoritarian, but we didn’t mind, because smokers are annoying.

The only complaint I voiced was that we couldn’t force other people that annoy me to stand outside the bar as well.

But I fear we have started something that is rolling beyond our control. seen Jamie’s Ministry of Food on T.V?

Well in the same way that Ingsoc’s Ministry of Love tortured people, Ministry of Truth rewrote history, Ministry of Peace fought wars and the Ministry of Plenty dealt with tight ration controls, Jamie’s ministry of food seems to be primarily concerned with telling us not to eat things.

We beat up the smokers, and we all thought that would be the end of it. But the  beast has not been sated, it has only grown stronger and more confident. Now they have turned their eyes on food, and grumbling discontentedly about the “alcohol problem” in Britain.

How long before they make people ordering chips in a restaurant stand outside in the cold and rain to protect the rest of us from passive-eating?

Our society is becoming santised, and it isn’t a good thing. For robots or lab-specimins maybe, but not for humans.

The arguments they field are typically NHS based, “well we have to pay for their healthcare so it isn’t fair that they have unhealthy lifestyles”.

It takes a very dangerous and unpleasant mind to think that way. The point of universal healthcare is not to gain control over people’s lifestyles, though it appears to be becoming the logical conclusion.

The point is to stop health being a designer product for the rich and powerful.

These are the sorts of people that will help you “for your own good” and snarl with self-righteous indignation if you should resist their unwelcome advances.

They’ll hide behind the mask of charity and do-gooding, but ultimately all they want is control. They want their own perfect little society, with everything in its designated place (designated by them, according to their plan) and they will never leave you be. Because even though your lifestyle is none of their business, you’re making their perfect world messy, and they cannot abide untidiness.

I think (and a lot of smokers that have crossed me in debate in the past are going to feel very smug for hearing this) that I was in the wrong about the smoking ban. I think cancer of the lungs is trivial ailment, compared to cancer of the Nation.

I think it’s time that we started saying No To Utopia.

As people are probably sick of hearing, the US is opening the doors for a 700 billion dollar fund of corporate welfare, to reward bankers for fucking the world economy.

Frustrating, yes

Scary, yes

But one still can’t help but feeling a little smug. Since this essentially constitutes socialism (welfare, benefits, the collective protecting itself) bailing out capitalism.

Maybe they’ll be less quick to espouse the virtues of US capitalism, now that it has fallen at the feet of it’s rival ideology for mercy…

Well one can but hope.

We all know that a capitalist isn’t <i>really</i> opposed to taxes and welfare, so long as it is being used to feed and clothe the rich, who have worked so hard for this hand-out.

Why, all over Wall Street rich men are singing the praises of pulling together, and helping out our fellow man.

It surely won’t be long till we see Oxfam appeals, live from the stock exchange, showing poor starved executives, who must walk 700 yards to the nearest bus-stop, and don’t even have a trophy-wife to their name anymore, and just a few million pounds a month could end these woes.

“give a man loan and he’ll be rich for a day. Give him control of the national banking infrastructure with an almost bottomless bail-out fund, and he’ll be rich for the rest of his life”

Cut  to scene of laughing fat men.

In other news, unemployment is rising, with no notable increase in money set aside for the dole